[software and hardware technology originating from or otherwise pertinent to planet earth]
http://www.nongnu.org/espresso/
Esspresso is an Emacs eLisp library for manipulating Javascript source code.
CPP is the GNU C Preprocessor.
How sick is this (FtA):
Just configure your web server to pipe Javascript through GNU cpp:
/usr/bin/cpp -P -undef -Wundef -std=c99 -nostdinc -Wtrigraphs -fdollars-in-identifiers -Cbefore minifying and compressing it for transmission.
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